Letting your life’s purpose come to youApril 1, 2020 2021-04-24 7:58
Letting your life’s purpose come to you
Letting your life’s purpose come to you
So I’m writing up this blog free-mindedly. Not really any expectation, just to get it out there and see what comes of it. This week I’ve had quite a few people ask me how to find purpose in their lives. Maybe it’s a coincidence, maybe not, but the following days after those conversations I’ve been hearing and seeing post on social media about people searching for things to do with their lives. Thus, bringing me to this point where I’m inspired to write this up for the many souls asking themselves these same questions:
“How do I find purpose in my life?” & “How do I figure out what to do with life?” or simply just feeling lost. Hopefully what I’m about to say resonates with you and doesn’t confuse you more. We’re going to cover a few topics dealing with purpose and how to not search for it but instead let it come to you.
If you’re thrown off by that last sentence that’s okay. There’s a huge paradox in life that not many people understand and know about. By letting go, you allow it to come. Have you ever heard of the famous “The Alchemist” quote about the universe conspiring to help you? Well it’s true. When we are able to have faith, surrender, trust and let go we allow life to work for us. It’s getting out of your own way. The world we live in nowadays, makes alot of us feel like we need to have life figured out by the time we graduate high school, our families and social media can make us believe that needs to be even sooner. I mean look at majority social media influencers, how old are they? Mid 20’s and younger? TikTok has the largest number of teens with thousands of followers so for many people it’s so easy to compare our lives to the lives of those on social media or on TV because they’re everywhere in our daily lives. Not just on social media or television, but on the radio, in ads, in music videos, etc. I know I’m not alone when I say I’ve had the thought of “why can’t that be me right now“
So let’s begin there with Comparison. If your friends around you are finding success in their careers and posting about it or raving about it when you meet up with them, leaving you scrambling to say something exciting about your life but can’t find anything to compare, you’re not alone. When’s the last time you met up with a friend or family member and when they ask you “what you’ve been up to?” or “how you’ve been?”, you actually answer with “I’m struggling finding out what I want to do with my life and searching for my purpose”… Never. I’ve never said anything near that because I don’t want to feel judged or see the look of despair or pity fall upon their faces. But here lies the first step in discovering your purpose. Comparison is the thief of authenticity. Who ever told you, you need to have your life figured out by 25? Parents? Friends? I know, my peers around me didn’t say that but they sure made me feel like it. If you’re reading this article, I have a feeling you can somewhat relate when I say, I feel much better when I don’t take life so seriously. By that I mean I enjoy where I am fully without feeling a need to live up to other people’s expectations.
“Comparison is the thief of authenticity.”
Truth is, your journey is YOUR journey it doesn’t compare to anyone else’s and theirs don’t compare to yours. We all have the ability to live and create our own story, but it comes at its own time not by the timing of others. Being on social media often we can make ourselves feel like we’re all in competition and racing against each other. When you find yourself questioning your life’s direction, DO NOT get on social media and compare where you are in your journey with where your peers or influencers are. There is a difference between looking at someone’s life as inspiration and comparing your life to theirs. Being inspired comes from a place of light and love, while comparison is coming from a place of shame & jealousy. Inspiration tells you there’s still time to accomplish something amazing while comparison tells you it’s too late. With inspiration, you’re encourage to take the next step forward, with comparison you’re taking a fearful step back. See the pattern?
Honesty. Be honest with yourself and your feelings. If it doesn’t bring you joy don’t involve yourself with it. Just because you may not know what direction to go right now does not mean you aren’t worthy of a happy life. Be unabashedly honest with yourself. That’s what leads to authenticity. It is okay that you’re unsure what to do with life. It is okay that you went to college for X many years but are still unsure if you want to do anything related to your degree. You don’t deserve pity for struggling with a universal issue such as purpose. I guarantee you, if you’ve ever answered the aforementioned question of “how have you been?” with “I’m struggling finding out what I want to do with my life and searching for my purpose”… The other person has already felt or still does feel exactly what you’re saying. They just don’t say it. But calling in purpose to your life is about being open, being vulnerable and being honest with yourself. Say these next sentences out loud: “I don’t know my purpose in life”, “I’m unsure of what’s next for me”. If you say either out loud and you feel hesitation or judgement, repeat it again. The key here is not to judge yourself for this. Freeing yourself from your own judgement is key to getting out of your own way and truly letting go. Repeat this, shout it, write it, whatever it takes as many times as you need to until your self-judgment is fickle to none. This will begin to unlock the vulnerable parts of yourself needed for these next few steps.
“Calling in purpose to your life is about being open, being vulnerable and being honest with yourself.“
Take a social media break. Coming back to social media, our mind’s have learned to fixate on judgement. I believe this is the healthiest thing an individual to do today is taking a break from social media. Take a break from not just social media but all media; news outlets, entertainment, TV, etc. Turn off the notifications you get about breaking news. Break the habit of watching a show with your dinner. Stop scrolling on social media as your form of procrastination. If you’re anything like me and become easily distracted or entertained scrolling for days, my solution for me, was to remove the app completely for the time being. My parents were heavy news watchers. Every morning and every night. This, I noticed, is a quick way to imbed anxiety into your well-being. When I was on my media break, I’d wake up and hear the news in my parents room after they’d already left for work. So every morning I’d go and turn off their TV so I wouldn’t have to take any of it in. This is an extra step that you may have to do with your parents, siblings, or roommates. If they’re constantly talking about the breaking news nonstop, or new netflix series, or debiting politics, or posting on their story every hour of the day, you’ll have to take the extra step and walk out the room or change the topic. Say no to the things that don’t serve you. If you can’t say no, ask them to be kind and aid you during this period by limiting their use. By taking a break from the media you’ll be able to focus more on your life and it’s unfolding. You’ll even gradually notice how much less anxiety and worry you’ll feel throughout your day.
These next steps are my favorite to live by, and are essential to letting go and allowing life to unfold for you. Follow your curiosity & experiment. You never know what your passion may be until you’re doing something and you feel your soul light up. With that being said, what are some things you’ve always been curious about? Curious in a way, you’ve always wondered what would happen if you pursued it. Also, curious in a way you’ve never even thought of pursuing it, but enjoyed it for what it was. Write them down. Make a list over anything and everything that comes to mind when you ask yourself that question. There are no limitations.
What are some things you’ve always been curious about?
Throughout college I was always mesmerized with how music can give me chills all the way down my spine and how one song could hold so many memories. I was amazed with how a concert or someone’s lyrics can change someone’s life, but I stuck with business classes, not even sure how I could help myself or if I really saw a future doing only business related activities. It wasn’t til a year after college that I realized I was always curious about those aspects of music and felt a calling to try it. Now it’s a lifelong hobby & passion of mine. Maybe for you, in your youth you were always curious about being the person acting in movies, the set up, the stage and how they make fantasy look real. It may not be till your 18 or even later where you think “hmm.. I really enjoy seeing movies and have been curious to try acting” A lot of times we have this ping with various things but ignore them because they aren’t what our environment thinks we should do, or maybe we just don’t believe we can. But I encourage you to try it, follow that curiosity and don’t be afraid to experiment!
I’ve switched majors, jumped around career fields, followed many different ideas and I’ve come to this realization: What is “experimenting” to some people, others call it “not knowing what to do with your life”. If someone has ever told you this, do not allow that to put pressure onto your life or discourage you from trying something new. People would say that to me and instantly I’d feel anxiety or fear or even get defensive. Experimenting is not having the fear to try new things. Taking what resonates with you, leaving what doesn’t, until you come across the spark that lights up your soul. The best part of experimenting is no matter what you try, if you’re doing your very best, you will always learn something to carry throughout life. It’s learning something about everything and everything about something. I myself, went to college for business, left to pursue creative endeavors like photography & acting but found recognition through modeling. Followed by actively writing and studying writing, to making music. Music is what made my soul come alive. Then I still experimented with real estate at the same time until I felt a calling in being a mindfulness coach. Meditation was something I practiced for the past 5 years and I’m just now making it to my own business practice. Boom! Now I have come across 2 sparks that led to a burning desire in which I now pursue full time and couldn’t be happier to do so. I experimented with 5 different things (plus more not mentioned) and now those skills aid me in everything I do today. All that to say, do not fear experimenting! I know I went way into it and even shared more of my story than I thought I would. So to recap the key points on allowing your purpose come to you:
Let go of comparison
Be honest with yourself
Take a media break
Follow your curiosity
“Experimenting is not having the fear to try new things.”
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I’ll be writing more in depth about specific areas mentioned in this post. But for now I wanted to just briefly touch on those as we uncovered the main point of this. I hope something here resonated with you. Feel free to contact me, leave feedback, and browse through the website to learn more on my coaching! One little secret: even those who feel like they have found their purpose in life, still don’t know exactly what they’re doing or how to exactly pursue it. They simply have a burning desire, a dream or goals and do the very best they can day by day to make it reality. Continue to take the next step, even if you don’t see the staircase.
Written by: Greg Peoples